Today gives me some closure to the three most difficult years of my life. It all began in November of 2015 when we unexpectedly lost my mother. She and I were very close and always had been. Even with miles between us we typically talked almost every day. As I mentioned, my family growing up was small, for the most part, it was my parents, sister and myself. My parents had been married for almost 50 years, the fact that we lost my mother 6 months before they could celebrate that milestone crushed my father. The two of them were a team and he didn’t know how he could possibly go on. In addition to losing his best friend, he didn’t know how he would deal with the logistics of life as my mom handled everything. I reassured him that he need not worry about things like that, I would be there to help him. Fortunately, with the relationship my mother and I had, the task of taking over their financial matters was relatively easy as my mother had already involved me to some extent. My sister and I took turns helping my dad get through the early months of losing his best friend. After about 8 months, we had him in a new home, everything had been running as smoothly as it could considering the circumstances. At this point, my dad decided to take a trip and begin living life again as best as he could. While on this trip he had some medical issues of his own crop up. Upon return home, he started seeing doctors, they started running tests and trying treatments. When treatments wouldn’t deliver the results doctors were looking for, they ran more tests, this went on for almost 9 months. Ultimately they decided he needed major surgery. While we were concerned that he wasn’t healthy enough for this surgery he was convinced to go through with it. Although fearful, we supported his decision. Unfortunately, our greatest fears became reality. Complications arose after the surgery, and we ended up losing our father in August of 2017, only 18 months after losing our mother. Apparently, this is not uncommon, we were informed that men over 65 who lose their wife generally don’t live past 24 months of their loss. Now with both of our parents gone, we were left with an estate to manage. Being that I was physically closer to the properties, already involved in their finances and had a more flexible schedule than my sister, I offered and it was agreed that I would manage the estate. What should have been a simple few months to completion drug on to be a long overcomplicated process that lasted a year longer than was anticipated. During this process, I was faced with many challenges and roadblocks. Some days it seemed as though time stood still and the frustration that comes with fighting the system to fulfill our parent’s final wishes just added to the pain of the loss we were trying to accept. Fortunately, my sister and I are close and were supportive of each other, the challenges were not between us. It is through the support of my husband, my children and my sister and brother in law that we were able to win the battles of fulfilling our parent’s final wishes. Over time I will share some of the challenges I endured and the important information I learned through this fight in hopes to save others grieving the loss of loved ones some of the frustrations I encountered. With that, I am excited to announce that I received the notification today that the estate of my father (parents) has been wrapped up that, I am automatically discharged as Personal Representative. From here I can begin living life, find the new normal and start the healing process in a new light. Here’s to new beginnings!!
